My body is my best friend. It’s always there for me, it is always looking for ways to keep me healthy and happy, it heals me and it allows me to move and speak and connect with other humans. My body is wondrous and amazing and it provides me with little miracles every day. Without it, I would be nothing, my thoughts would never be converted into actions, my sentiments never able to be shown through words. I am totally dependent on my body.
My body is my worst enemy. It is clingy, it never gives me a break, it hurts me and restricts me, it makes me anxious and depressed and self-conscious. It never looks the way I want it to look and there are days when my body makes me act in ways I do not want it to. It makes me feel trapped and bound-up. Without it, I could be free; free of the aches and pains of life, free from myself and my thoughts.
These thoughts are not just thoughts that someone who has or has had an ED have. These thoughts most likely enter everyone’s mind at someone point in their life. I know for me, I can change my perception of my body in seconds, going from being confident and happy to bashful and embarrassed in a manner of a few heartbeats. Having a turbulent relationship with my body has been like having a really abusive on-again, off-again relationship with a significant other. I mistreat my body for weeks, maybe months only to realize how awful I’ve been and to grovel for its forgiveness and acceptance once more. It’s not something that has an easy fix or can just be talked out. I’ve never put in the time or effort to learn how to truly view my body as something as magical as it is. Maybe if I did- maybe if everyone did- our perceptions of our bodies would not be as unstable as they are, swayed so easily by magazines, TV, movies and social media. Maybe that’s all our body really needs from us: time. Time to learn and to love. Because even if we don’t realize it right away or even for a while, our body only ever tries to give us time and love, so maybe we should give it that time and love in return.