Shame- a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
Why do we feel ashamed? Why do we hold ourselves back in conversations and from opening up in fear of being “humiliated?” If shame comes from the “consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior,” why do we feel ashamed of simple and innocent acts and feelings?
1. Showing Emotion
Why do we hide away when we want to cry? Why do we muffle our screams into pillows when we feel angry? Every person has emotions, and every human has cried, screamed, and laughed about at least one thing in their lifetime. If we can acknowledge and recognize that, why do we still hide when we are feeling that way ourselves? Let yourself cry in front of your friends, they’ll only try to help you. Let yourself scream in the middle of that empty place, it will only release the tension you’ve been bottling up. Let yourself show emotion, it’ll only make you fit in more.
2. Taking Time For Yourself
There’s nothing wrong with having a little “me time.” Everyone needs a break from their hectic schedules sometimes. Don’t feel like going out and partying? Stay home! Take a bath! Read a book! Catch up on that show you keep missing! Watch the movie you didn’t get time to see in theaters! Make yourself your favorite snack! Color in a stress relieving coloring book! Use a face mask! Call that family member you’ve been needing to catch up with! Cuddle up with your pet! Lay around in your pajamas! Do whatever you need! Paying attention to yourself is more important than any other plans you could have made.
3. What You Love
Who cares if no one else likes that show you always talk about? Go off about it! Rant about what happened in the new episode! They don’t need to understand the plot to see how big you smile when you talk about your favorite character. Who cares if the people in your car don’t listen to your music? Blast it! Sing as loud as you can! No one has to understand why you love something, if it makes you happy then stay happy. No one likes your favorite food? More for you! No one else likes dogs as much as you? You get all the attention! No one should be getting in the way of what makes you happy.
4. Who You Surround Yourself With
You are in charge of who you let into your life. Why should anyone question who you spend your time with? The time is yours and you are free to spend it anyway you’d like. Surround yourself with the people who make YOU happy, not the people who satisfy who others think you should associate with. The same thing goes for who you don’t associate with. Your group of friends includes someone you don’t agree with? Don’t associate with them! Just because you’re in the same room does not mean you need to interact. Spend time with the people you are there for and let others do the same.
5. What You Feel Confident In
Your personal confidence depends on you, and only you. Wear what is going to make you feel the best. You feel most confident in sweatpants and a t-shirt? Rock it! Your friends don’t like the color of your lipstick? Don’t tell them where you got it and continue to look great in it yourself! You hate your long hair? Cut it all off! Do whatever you need to do to love yourself to the fullest extent. Your opinion on yourself is the only one that matters.