It Started As Just a Normal Day
My journey started back in 2014, I was struggling with a long list of symptoms that included of; Struggling to breathe 24/7, swelling of the lymph nodes, persisted fatigue, fever, night sweats, unexplained weightless, severe itching, acid reflux, indigestion, feeling full after eating a small amount of food, chronic pain, sports or any active sports/activities It would leave me bed bound for days after. It is a really weird feeling when you know that the cancer was growing inside of me for around a year before any of us actually new it was cancer.. We knew something was wrong and my mum thought it might be cancer but because I was so young, my mum and dad were like no. But it turned out that cancer in children is a lot more common than what we expect. I had continuous GP visits which every one ended with the doctors saying that it was just growing pains and I had to deal with it when I actually had a 40CM cancer tumour in my chest! You really need to listen to your body and your gut feeling because theres a high chance that its right.
The day when everything started was quite possibly the worst day of my life... It started off to just be a normal day; Just going to school like normal but I told my teacher that I really wasn't feeling well as I had a migraine, I was feeling upset and I was in a lot of pain and I just knew that something was wrong!! So I told the teacher and she let me go home, when I got home I got changed into a onesie and I zipped it down a little and my mum noticed a lump and she was like that did not look right.. My mum rushed me to the doctors, checked my temperature, heart rate and blood pressure and then transferred me to Frimley park hospital. This part of the story might not make a lot of sense to be honest, it was such a blur and it was the most horrible experience of my life. I got admitted to the ward, whilst having a load of x rays, scans and blood tests. After the scans I went to sleep as it was pretty late, not that I could get any sleep. They then woke me up at 1am for a blood test. Back then I use to really hate them, not that I don't hate them now as I do but I am quite use to them now. The next day, my grandad came to visit me. It was nice to see him but I couldn't really consternate as I knew that something was really wrong...
The day I got diagnosed my granddad was beside me while one of my doctors asked my parents to follow them to this room. I was really scared. It took a while for them to come back but they didn't tell me to the next day. I am not mad at them for that, it was really really hard for everyone. That night I got transferred to great Ormond street hospital in an ambulance. That was my first time going in an ambulance, they had to put the sirens on and everything. When I arrived, we settled in and then went to sleep. The next day, dad cameo the hospital and mum and dad told me that I have cancer. I was calm, I didn't really know what cancer was. I knew it was something serious and that you could die from it so I was very scared. This might sound weird but in a sense, we were glad that I finally had a diagnosis as we could treat it. My journey was meant to only last approximately 6 months but 4 years later... Still fighting. I can't remember if it was this day or the next day but I over heard the doctors saying something about hair. I thought they meant something else but I talked to my mum and she said that I am going to loose my hair.. I was very sad as I liked my hair. I didn't know what people would think of me and what I would look like. it was all very daunting. I turned out to like the bald look although I do miss my long hair.
Getting use to the cancer lifestyle has been really hard, but you just ned to get through day by day and be grateful for the things you do have. We should ALL be grateful for what we have. Theres things that you just get use to, I am so used to this life. Sometimes I catch myself wondering that if I will ever go back to what use to be but I now know that I won't.. I won't get back to what I use to be, im different. Cancer changed you so much. Maybe I won't be able to be as active as I use to be. But maybe I will. I don't know what the future holds but I know it will be ok!