Do You Feel Different Now?
"Do you feel different now?“
That might be the question most people have in mind when they hear my story. I live with my third liver. Caused by a rare chronic illness and rejection, I had to have two liver transplantations. There are no words to describe how lucky I was that my father and my uncle were both able to donate me a part of their livers.
And people keep asking: do you feel different now?
Most of them wonder, if I can actually feel the part of me that used to belong to a different body, the part that isn’t really me. Well, no. Every cell in my body is me and mine to live with. I own all of me. I deserve to call it mine, because I take care of my body. We got through dark times of pain, times of mental issues, times of growth and also times of joy. My body and I had to work hard to accept each other, we had to learn that we can’t grow apart. We are in this together until the very end.
Still there is this question: do I feel different now?
I found peace with myself. My scars, my flaws, my medication. I learned how to love my body and my mind. There are still difficult days but I know that I am trying my best. I accepted that I can’t join every party and I have to sit in waiting rooms a lot. But at least that’s when I find the time to read a good book. I know that there are times I go to bed early and still wake up exhausted. And that’s okay. There will be better mornings.
So, do I feel different now?
I do. Because I don’t feel like my body is a painful prison anymore. I feel my mind in symbiosis with my body. I appreciate more day by day. And I love to live every second now, knowing that I was unbelievable lucky to get my chances.
Find Rebecca: IG: rebecca_jung Blog: www.lebenmit3lebern.com (in german only, sorry…